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October 16, 2007 - 11:07 p.m. I have a habit of looking back constantly. In middle school, I couldn't stop looking back at elementary school. In high school, I thought middle school had been so much easier. In college now, I daydream about high school and all I should have done. I know it's counterproductive. I miss things, though. I miss my meticulous diary. I miss my huge awesome room at the tip-top of Robertson and my red manic panic wig from Charlottesville and Doolittle on repeat and All Along the Watchtower and Scarlet Begonias and all that. Sometimes I miss James. I miss creaky Stuart Hall and hall nights with Jessie. I miss mornings with Jessie in Lyon and her passion for absolutely everything. Rocks thrown off rooftops. Hash and George...wine in the park, the St. James and les nuages noirs. Sometimes. I want to pick the best of everything and erase the bad times from memory: Sitting on the sand with Steph while the boys played frisbee at the INXS show...but not yelling at Evan for not packing up our tent the next morning. I know I need to go to a doctor. I'm sure I have ADD and it's just destroying my life.
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